Time and parenthood

Since I became a mother I have realized the importance of time..  or maybe more, the lack of time.. Actually, the biggest realisation was how they don't ever match up. "I need more time, I have less time" is an equation that simply does not work. 

 At work, I want the time to pass so I can go home to my baby. At home with my baby, I want the time to pass so I can get the house/lunch-boxes/laundry ready for the next day. At night I want the time to pass so I can get started the next morning and removing things from my never ending To-Do list. 

I know how important it is to be mindful and enjoy the little moments but it is easier said than done. I was overwhelmed with the lack of time and it resulted in me just.. checking out. I decided that time sucks, I suck, everything sucks, and that I was not up to more stress that day. I clocked out from work, took a long lunch by myself, ordered a dessert and ate it before my salad. I get now why you should not do that, the salad was definitely not tasting good after an amazing and filling carrot cake. But whatever.. I enjoyed that moment so much. And I noticed the benefit of taking some time for me for the rest of the day. I had so much more energy at work. I went home and played with my baby and enjoyed watching him banging his toys endlessly together. That hour way from everything gave me so much than an hour back in return. An hour for an hour is not an equal trade when it comes to wellbeing.