I wrote a blog post a few years ago about different 'mommy wars' I'd personally witnessed, and I'm sad to say in the years since it hasn't gotten any better. In fact I think it's probably gotten worse.
If you have been a mom for more than 5 seconds, you have probably been judged/targeted for at least some of these.
In the past almost 9 years as a mother, I've been 'attacked'/judged online and in person for;
Having a 'natural' birth
Having two c-sections
Having breast fed all of my children
Having to switch to formula with Jasper at 2-3 months
Breast feeding Tindra and now Soren 'too long'
Not breast feeding Tindra (and Jasper) long enough
Vaccinating my children
Doing a slightly delayed vaccination with them
Being a stay at home mom
Not working out of the house full time
Getting out for some alone mom time once in a while
Not getting out alone enough
Choosing to feed my children healthy/organic meals
Not feeding them healthy/organic meals 100% of the time
Being a 'helicopter mom'
Not being enough of a 'helicopter mom'
Sending Jasper to a church based preschool
Sending Jasper to public school
Not home schooling my children (though I'm sure if I did that I would be judged on that as well)
Spoiling my children
Not giving them enough
Keeping them 'too busy' in sports/activities
Not keeping them busy enough/not letting them do Every activity available
Cloth diapering Tindra and Soren
Not cloth diapering Jasper
Extended rear facing (keeping children rear faced till 3-4)
Co sleeping with Soren
Not co- sleeping with Jasper and Tindra
I mean the list could go on and on...and on. I feel like as mothers we are judged on every single aspect of our parenting. We get judged for breast feeding, we get judged for formula feeding. We get judged for being over protective, and not protective enough. Basically we can do no right?
I remember asking on a car seat forum once about dvd recommendations for our upcoming trip to Iowa (before we had the built in ones like we do now) and being attacked about it because 'anything in a car not strapped down in the drunk is a deadly projectile.' I mean I get it. Anything in a car can become a projectile in a crash and best case scenario would be to never have any projectiles in the car. That would be a perfect world. But that is not this mothers world. I travel with three kids. My car is never 'empty of projectiles'. That would be ideal. But just not a real possibility when driving in a car for 10+ hours solo with three young children.
So moms, can we please cut down on the judgmental mommy wars? And yes I think it's coming from most mothers. I've only ever been openly 'attacked' by other mothers. Which is just crazy isn't it? Lets try to assume that other mothers are just doing the best that they can. If you see the mom going through a McDonalds drive through while her kids are watching a movie in the back rotting their little brains out, maybe lay off the judgement and think that perhaps thats the best she can do for that day?