So my wonderful friend and co-blogger Darlene, asked me to blog about a few specific topics and I love writing with outlined topics, it makes it so much easier!
For this first post Darlene wanted me to write about I balance life being a working mom? The truth is.. I don’t. I suck at them both. Some moms just handle life so gracefully. Like the commercial "maybe she is born with it". Just effortlessly. In my case, you will not be fooled into thinking it is effortless. It is a battle and it shows.
I remember my old life as it was in divided up in, morning, afternoon and evening blocks. Like: this morning I need to work, this afternoon I am going to get a workout in, tonight I will have dinner with my friends. Stressful days I might have seen the time in divided up in hours. 10am answer emails, 12-1pm do this and 1-3pm finish that.
Then I had a kid and now my life is about SECONDS. I know that it will take about three seconds for my baby to be put on the floor before he starts to cry, that is not enough time for me to take out the food of the refrigerate and put it on the plate but it is enough time for me to put a prepped plate of food in the micro, therefore prepped plates it is. I know that doing a load of laundry takes about four minutes that is four minutes where I actually do household work and can legitimately ask my husband to take our kid without feeling like I am cheating. Heating up a bottle of goat milk? It takes 5 minutes in the bottle warmer, but if I want to be the “bad mom” I heat it in the microwave and it takes 40 seconds.(Not saying that a micro is bad, it just makes me feel bad to not take the time). 40 seconds of crying for milk is A LOT less than 5 minutes.
I really miss the time where I was dividing the day in hours instead of seconds. I miss the time where I could be bored. I love love being a working mom but I carry a constant feeling of not being enough. I am not as good as my job as I used to be, because I am too stressed. I am not as good of a mom as I could be because I am away so much. I do not know if I am doing the right thing working, but I would not know if I would do the right thing staying at home either. I am scared it would make me feel less valued in our household, that I would have to ask for money, or feel guilty using money. That I would feel forced in to a decision I might not want to take. That my son would grow up not seeing me offer the same things as his father.
I try to remember that I am not special. I am not having it harder than anyone else. In fact, I probably have it easier than many! I live close to work so I don't loose much time commuting. I only have one child, without any special needs. I have a partner.
But the post was actually about how I make it work so my Oscar speech goes to: First I want to thank Amazon Prime, Instacart. I would have never gotten here without our cleaning lady or the countless inspiration of other moms who do this every day. A thanks to my husband who comes home early the days I have to work nights, and all my love to our amazing nanny. Without you all I could not have gotten this far. A special shoutout to my old lactation room and a law that makes it possible to pump at work.
If you see a working mom, give her high five because she is working her ass off. Not saying that working dads are not doing the same, but I do not think they battle the questions of being good enough as much. Give her a pat on the back and tell her that you want to come over to have a glass of wine with her. And be a good friend and bring the wine.